I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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