no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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