so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
