Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
