so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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