8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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