It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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