Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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