capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hippo gnu deer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
