why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
