Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
