So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
