it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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