Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
