I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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