Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My vagina just recognized that song.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
