he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
