Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
