there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
