It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
