No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
