okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
