Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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