I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
