I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
