i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
