I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
