Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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