I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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