I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
my liver is dry heaving
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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