This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
