Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I look better un-naked...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
