i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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