i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
