I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
