Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
