new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
