Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
