I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you inspire me to be a worse person
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
