I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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