i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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