So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
