if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
