I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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