Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
