im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
