I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
