i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
