I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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