I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
