Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
