Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
