I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
