Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
